Morning reflections

The Lord has been good to me. He has always been.

For the past weeks, I have been worrying so much about every thing. It makes me sad, anxious, grumpy. As if every smile drains my energy. Then, I would blame God for everything I feel.

But, it was me who brought it to myself.

It was very disrespectful to blame a God who has always been merciful, gracious, and even just.

After all of the bad things I hurled at Him, punishments with great love and concern were what He threw back. Why would I be angry when He exacts punishment on my sinful acts and thoughts? He is just! That is what I deserve. I even should be dead by now. Thank God for His unending love and grace.

O Lord, let me be an instrument of Thy peace. I beg of you, please keep my thoughts and actions pure and holy. :)

*Good morning! It's a brand new day. A brand new start. Another chance to show the world who I really live for. :)

____________________

29aug12

A morning reflection and prayer :)

Do I speak loudly in class?

Do I speak loudly in class? Yes, I believe I do. Being a musician, I know how to modulate my voice depending on the size of the room. I was trained to do that. I took it seriously because I am a choral singer, too.

The better question to ask is, “Do I always speak loudly in class?” Do I answer honestly in class or do I answer what my professors like to hear from me? My answer: No, I don’t always speak "loudly" in class. Usually, I don’t speak loudly in class when I know that my opinion or answer will cause a disturbance in the minds of those inside the classroom.

I experienced it so many times in the College of Music. When I did share my opinions or ask questions, I was usually shunned because what I said was not “in the book”. Thank the heavens, not all of my professors are like that. I encountered one professor who was always ready to hear his students’ questions and insights. If he doesn’t know the answer to my question, he would honestly say he is not sure what to answer. Then, he would encourage me to research about it and give the answer next meeting. That certain professor even defended me when I got a 5.0 in my solfege panel exam. He showed the panel my class performance. After doing so, he then talked to me and asked what happened. I told him I was so scared to fail. He told me it was normal, but he believed that I can survive the UP College of Music because I have the drive to do so. True enough, I am still in the College of Music.

I’m afraid (and SO TIRED) of professors not answering my questions and professors who even brand me as disrespectful when I ask a question they cannot answer. I don’t know why some professors get easily intimidated with their students. Some of my college professors caused a big issue in the college, which I will not disclose here, all because of students who asked “so many questions”. I thought UP professors are open-minded and had the best interest for students. Unfortunately, not all of them are like that. On the other hand, I am very grateful for professors who always want their students to learn and speak their mind freely.

I do not solely blame my professors for not always speaking loudly in class. I am a partly to blame because it is my decision not to always speak in class. When I think of something during the class, it shows in my face and my gestures, but not all are keen enough to see it or ask if I had something in mind that I would like to share.

I’m not sure if not speaking all that is in my mind is going against the UP student expectations. However, there should always be a balance between assertion and quiet pondering.

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21aug2012

Reflection paper for my EDFD120 class. :)

This is an educational autobiography for my EDFD120 subject. :D

My Educational Autobiography on Prezi

hihi. enjoy :P

Sample! :D

Another newsletter by Smilebox

On Benedictions

Now unto Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude vv. 24,25

For today's churches, benedictions are merely a signal to dismiss worshipers, very much like a school bell signaling the end of class hours. In our church, after the pastor utters the benediction for that Sunday, the choir will lead the people to sing The Lord Bless You and Keep You. I have been part of our church choir for 5 years already. It is a marvel how God, through the Holy Spirit, continually remind me that I am still a work in progress. Recently, this is one of His lessons for me.

It has been a habit for me to play the C Major chord after the pastor's benediction. I sing the alto line of The Lord Bless You and Keep You with my eyes on the lyrics projected in front. "Good day to everyone and may you all have a blessed week." Turn off the Clavinova. Bring the pieces inside the music room. Chat with some people. For years, this has been my worship dismissal habit.

One Sunday, I did not play the C Major chord, Ate Nikki did. That was when realizations dawned on me.

1. When I do play the C Major chord, I was so worried to play the wrong chord that I wasn't able to listen to the benediction of the pastor.
2. I stared wide-eyed to the pastor as he said, "Now, receive the blessing of the Lord" before he said the benediction. I haven't heard it before!!!or I was too busy with myself.
3. The pastors always quote benedictions from the Bible. It's His Word! True enough, His Word does not go out in vain.
4. Thus, it is UNIQUELY for His children.
5. I treat benedictions as a habit. A normal occurence.
6. I am so ignorant.

Benedictions are not only heard inside churches. It can be anywhere! The latest, famous benediction is from the book-turned-movie Hunger Games. Before a tribute goes to the Hunger Games, the announcer will shout:

May the odds be ever in your favor!

The odds? What are the odds? They are very hard to guess. They cannot be determined. Odds change. And yes, this fallen world put their lives to the ODDS.

Shame on me. I remember the odds being in our favor more than God being faithful. Wonderful benedictions such as those from Jude and Hebrews came from the Word of God and not from some mortal, sinful men. Why do I regard Biblical benedictions as nothing but mere words? With this shame, I asked God to forgive me for being ignorant about His Word and His promises. It also made me search myself. A C Major chord can receive an approving nod from the choir or the pastor, but does the hand that play it receive the blessing of the Lord?

From that day on, it is ultimately about God. I made myself a worshiper from the announcements to the last note of The Lord Bless You and Keep You. I play the C Major chord with much conviction and I sing with a ring of gratitude in my voice. Also, with the benediction in mind, I can always remind myself throughout the week that Christ Jesus clothed me with His righteousness, presenting me blameless before the presence of the Holy God. The Holy Spirit, my Divine Helper, will help me not to stumble into temptation. The triune God is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I can even share this wonderful truth to others. It can also be an encouragement to someone who is going through hard times. I have yet to find out its other purposes in my life as a Christian.

So, may the odds be ever in your favor?

As for me, may praises be ever to my faithful Savior!

____________________

05may2012

For a list of benedictions, click here.

"Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts, and establish you in every good word and work."

II Thessalonians 2: 16,17

May you find meaning in those Words. :)

-ara.janelle