same old story

before...

i thought i was ready to go on board

young as i am

ambitious as i always have been

i thought i was ready to take over

everything is perfect

it'll be all fine

i thought i was ready to take it in

it's manageable, isn't it

i'm over the top anyway

now...

i am on board

trying to maintain my balance as i walk

i can't even open my eyes to look towards what's ahead

i am on board

holding this on one hand, holding that on another

thinking of everything, anything, something, nothing

i am on board

so tired and exhausted of all the work i did

not realizing that i'm already off-course

later...

"excuse me, but are you in charge here?"

of course i am

i'm just resting

"excuse me, should you really be the one in charge?"

of course i should be

who else can handle it anyway

"excuse me"

what do you think you're doing

who are you anyway

during later...

i wonder why we began moving

i'm still outside

talking to others

i wonder who initiated the move

who took over

with tactless decisions

i wonder

why everyone think its moving

when it really isn't

after later...

is a decision you have to make

____________________

14mar10

-what would you do?

let it adrift?

or admit that you're not in charge?

-ara.janelle